14 Jul
|
2 mins
Every manager has had that moment.
The meeting ends.
You walk out thinking "I should have said something."
You saw the problem.
You spotted the unrealistic deadline.
You knew the performance issue wasn't going away.
But saying nothing felt like the easier option.
Sometimes as managers we kid ourselves that it’s not the right moment to speak up; it’s a one-off that won’t happen again; it’s only minor and we might cause more of an issue if we bring it up now…we’ll let it go this time…
However, there’s a difference between being ‘nice’ and being ‘effective’.
I’m not talking about ‘nice’ meaning kindness – of course managers should be kind – I’m talking about when niceness means avoidance. Stepping away from being the manager we should be; avoiding difficult conversations and tough actions.
Because not saying something can make things much worse further down the line.
The silent yes – a colleague proposes a new initiative in a meeting, and you can instinctively see potential pitfalls with the suggested way forward; your line manager recommends a new candidate for a position in your team but you had doubts about them during their interview.
Failing to raise your concerns and nodding your assent instead could lead to agreeing unrealistic deadlines, targets or consequences for you and your team – when pushing back at the start could set better parameters and reduce the negative impact on others.
Think about the impact of not speaking up.
The effect on your team – overburdened with unrealistic targets or poor people dynamics killing morale; the effect on your team’s perception of you – lacking confidence; the effect on you personally – overloaded, increased pressure, poorer prioritising, self-berating for not having said something at the start…
Speak up – don’t just let it lie – if you mean no, say it; if you have concerns, raise them.
Turning a blind eye – ‘I’ll leave it this time’ - letting negative behaviour go from a team member not only leaves your team with the impression you can’t handle difficult conversations, but also that certain individuals can get away with more than others.
Avoiding dealing with team behavioural issues can seem like a confrontation avoided in the short term, but longer term it builds up an even bigger issue for you to deal with.
Clearing the air and addressing issues, rather than sweeping them under the carpet, gives the team a chance to recalibrate. You’re the team leader – your team needs you to lead.
Nip things in the bud. Say something sooner.
Fearing feedback – if a desire to keep the peace, sidestep confrontation or avoid speaking with a challenging individual actually stops you from giving someone feedback about their underperformance, then this has the potential to really bite you on the backside somewhere down the line!
The longer you leave poor performance unaddressed, the harder it becomes to start that conversation and the more the poor performance gets seen by other people, including the culprit, as the acceptable norm.
And the longer other team members witness you failing to address the poor performance, the more credibility you lose and the lower their morale falls.
Plus, if somewhere further down the line, official HR performance management processes kick in, you’ll wish you’d kept a handle on the poor performance all along. Don’t leave yourself vulnerable.
Helping too much isn’t helping – if you’ve caught yourself thinking ‘it’s easier to do it myself’ or ‘I’m worried about overloading someone else’ or ‘I just feel awkward delegating’ then niceness has definitely become a problem!
Every time you do a job that someone else could do faster, better, more cost effectively or that would aid their development, then you stop yourself from doing a job only you can do.
And if, as manager, you’re busy ‘doing’ all the tasks, then just who is actually ‘managing’?! People want a line manager who can do their own job properly; can help others develop the team’s skills and offer people scope for progress.
None of us wants a manager who’s pre-occupied doing jobs they should’ve delegated instead of doing the leadership tasks they’re employed to do.
Don’t protect people from the truth – too often, managers either don’t tell their teams all the latest company news (especially if it’s not good) to ‘protect’ the team or because they don’t want to be the bearer of bad news. But this is niceness gone wrong. Far better to communicate things – even things the team may not enjoy hearing - than to be one of those managers whose team lives in perpetual darkness.
Not knowing is far worse and more damaging than being given bad news.
At least once they know the situation the team is better positioned to process the bad news, support each other and think about how to deal with the challenges at hand.
The irony is that so often managers avoid these difficult conversations and actions not because they don’t care…but because they care too much!
Most managers delay actions because they don’t want to upset others.
Of course the danger is that in doing that we’re actually creating bigger problems for later!
